Growth

Praise the Lord for second chances: the chance to grow... the belief in me that I CAN grow, that I have potential.

This has been an incredible autumn so far! I have been challenged, uncomfortable, pushed past my personal boundaries, encouraged past my limitations.  It's been beautiful.

My best friend in the whole world and I have been co-leading a small group of college women for our church. It's been a real eye-opener for me in terms of what I am called to do, what that looks like, and how I need to throw everything else to the wind and, finally, run after the Lord.  Sarah and I have always held each other accountable for our words, our actions, even our very thoughts.  But since we've started leading these women, we've been encouraged to go beyond even that into discipling each other, challenging each other, and building each other up even more than we already have.  She's always been my Paul, and I her Timothy, but that relationship has become even stronger, even more blessed, than I could ever have imagined a friendship could be.  I am so, so lucky to have her in my life.

Beyond even Sarah, I have started being mentored and discipled by my pastor's wife.  Janice is one of the most Godly women I've ever met, she is sure of who she is in the Lord, she is sure of her role in the lives of her husband and children, and she is confident of her role in the lives of the people who live and work around her.  She has started speaking truth into my life in a way that I have yearned for since I was a young teenager.  A woman who can remind and affirm my own grace, strength, beauty, and wisdom.  Every girl needs that kind of truth spoken into her life.  When I spend time with Janice, when I call on her wisdom, when I admit my deep-seated fears and my heart's deepest desires... she speaks courage and healing into my soul in a way I've never before experienced.  I can physically feel the holes in my heart being patched, the ragged edges of my soul being sewn back together.  I am more than blessed.

Through the wisdom, support, and love of these two beloved women in my life, I have become stronger than I ever thought possible.  I have been able to stand up for myself in very uncomfortable situations, I have not shrunk away from opposition or confrontation, I have been affirmed and assured of my worth and value.  I can do anything.  If the Lord calls a man into my life, I can rest assured he will know and value my worth as well, that he will pursue me the way my heart yearns to be pursued, and I will not allow myself to be walked over or taken for granted, as I've done so easily again and again in my past.  And if the Lord calls me to be single, I am strong enough to do just that, loving on and caring for everyone who comes into my path, but in a different way.  I know I can handle whatever is thrown my way.  The Lord promises that He is WITH me, and will never, ever leave.  He is all I need.  Everything else is just undeserved blessings.