Last night we had 707, the youth service for my church. I'm obviously not "youth" anymore, but I'm a coach there and I go to build relationships, encourage, love, and build the kingdom of God.
Last night the service was about what kind of legacy you are going to leave when you die. I'd heard this information before, having taught this in my small group a week prior. But somehow things hit home a lot harder than I was prepared for.
The focus was less the legacy your parents left you and what you wanted to leave your children, and more what you were going to do with your life here that would continue impacting when you were gone.
We did this exercise on priorities- we were each given 5 tiny slips of paper on which to write our top 5 priorities. Not just any, but the TOPS. In no particular order I wrote my relationship with Christ/ministry, my physical health, success in whatever I end up doing, my relationship with friends/family, and being pursued/married, because I desire so deeply to have a ministry with my husband, to affect change in the world for the Lord with my husband. When I had finished writing my priorities, I felt pretty good with myself. Five priorities. Easily managed. And good ones, too! Important ones.
But then Pastor Todd asked us to take a good long look at our priorities, and throw one away. We didn't have time for all 5, so which one would we get rid of first?
Looking through my slips of paper, it was easy enough to toss the "being successful at whatever I do" first. My idea of success and God's idea of success are perhaps and probably two very different things, and as long as I am doing His work and the things He has called me to do, it doesn't matter if I see success. Sometimes we're just called to sow but not reap. That's ok.
Wow. 4 priorities. All super important. Maybe he's done asking us to toss them away... Nope. You don't have time for all 4 priorities. Get rid of another. Ooh. Which one?? These are all really important!! Taking a good, hard, long look, I finally toss away "physical health" because I'm thinking relationships are more important than anything else. I immediately regret this decision. What was I thinking? How important are relationships when your body is failing you because you haven't taken care of it? What's going to happen to those relationships when you die early from heart disease or adult-onset diabetes or some form of cancer that could have been prevented by a healthy diet and exercise? I ask if I can take my choice back...nope, can't. Sorry. Drat.
So, as I'm sure you know it's coming, Pastor Todd asks us to drop one more priority. I'm down to 3, which I think is enough to handle, but apparently it's not. Relationship with Christ/ministry, relationships with friends/family, and being pursued/married. I know I'm not about to toss Christ, but how can I choose between my dearest friends and the family that has been with me since birth, and my deepest desire? I sit looking at them for a long, long time...and finally toss my marriage. Relationships with friends and family is also a ministry, not that your relationship to your husband is not, but it's also not completely necessary. You choose marriage, it's not a marriage-or-nothing kind of life. You can make it through life without getting married. It happens all the time, and people not only survive, but they thrive, making huge strides for Christ with all their free time and resources. Not ideal, in my eyes, but absolutely possible, and if that's what I have to do in order to keep Christ #1 and Only One, then I can let go of my desires.
So I'm left with relationships with friends/family, and relationship with Christ & ministry. As you guessed, PTodd asks us to toss one more, since we clearly only have time for one priority. This is by far the easiest decision for me. I'm the first out of my seat and the first to the trash can to toss all my relationships, save one- Christ, and my obedience to Him. Nothing compares to this. Up to this point I was really struggling with which to let go of, but it turns out it doesn't matter what goes first or last. Only one thing remains: Christ. All else is unnecessary, just blessings...icing on the cake. I hold on to this last slip of paper as a reminder of how easy it is to remember what truly matters, what truly remains. My relationship with Christ, and what He is calling me to do in this life, away from Him for a short while. I reside on earth, He's waiting for me in heaven. I'm not saying He isn't with me wherever I go and whatever I do. But this is a temporary place, and it fades in the blink of an eye. I would love to be remembered for loving anyone and everyone more deeply than anyone else. But if that love does not point to Christ, what good is it? I would love to be remembered for caring for and caring about anyone and everyone I cross paths with, but if that encouragement, compassion, and hospitality doesn't point to Christ, what does it matter? I can focus my efforts and my energy on making sure people remember ME, or I can focus my efforts and energy on making sure people know and remember CHRIST.
This was a really emotional service for me. It hit me really deeply. I've been struggling more lately with my priorities and where my attention should be spent. My devotions have all been about this same idea, which is not in any way coincidental- I needed the reminder. "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you." Of course I would love to be successful in my ministry, in my relationships, in my family. Of course my physical health is really important to me, and I can't imagine living without yoga, dance, soccer, running... Of course, my relationships to my friends and family are SO important, and worthy of time and energy. Of COURSE I desire so deeply to be pursued by the man of my dreams, a man I can minister with, a man I can build the kingdom of God with. ...But if none of these things are added to me, I still have Christ.
And that's enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment