Resolution January: No TV/Movies

As promised, my 2012 is going to be a year of sacrifice, of learning what self-denial and self-discipline are, all in the name of growth.  I want to be a better woman at the end of this year, more courageous, more disciplined, more creative in the way I spend time, money, and energy.

For January, my resolution is to not watch any tv or movies, including videos online.  Instead, I am filling that time with knitting, projects, cleaning, working out, and building relationships.  Finding things to fill that time that encourage my relationships with other people, with the Lord, and with myself.  Participating in activities without hesitation that I might miss something at home, or thinking "I need alone time" (translation: I want to go sit on my couch and not do anything).

The month started out kind of claustrophobically.  I really felt like I was enclosed in a tiny place with no out.  I know that must sound strange, but when I was in college and living in the dorms, it was sometimes a really lonely place.  Anytime I would be in my room alone, or in the dorm on certain holidays when no one else was around, I would switch my tv on just to have basic human sounds in the background.  A conversation, the sound of movement or traffic (slightly muted, of course), were things that became comforting to me in times of loneliness.  This must have snowballed into my need to constantly have a tv or movie playing.  Looking back on my self-created obsession, I never even sit down and intently look at the screen, I always have something in my hands: knitting, scrapbooking, a book....or I might be cleaning or cooking or doing laundry, and I just have the movie on for sounds effects.

In my 10 days of discipline so far, I am learning that I have a lot of thoughts swimming around in my head...all the time.  In the quiet I'm experiencing, I'm having to deal with these thoughts, call them under my command, and learn to live without "white noise."  Learn to live my life, without distractions.  And, to my credit, I have not faltered once!  I am constantly looking for things to do, I am finding myself constantly saying "yes" to activities or invitations to do things, rather than thinking I need alone time, going home, and missing out on the present.  I can already feel the effects of this positive life change in tons of different areas.  Even in my nighttime routines- without the distraction of television or a movie, my body knows it's tired more readily and concretely, and I fall asleep easier and more quickly, without the colorful (and often disturbing) array of dreams that have plagued me for some time now.

I'm excited to see where this year takes me.  I've heard often in the last several weeks that "this is going to be a year of blessing," and I believe that, deep down in my soul. I know it will be a year of blessing- it already has been.  I also believe that this will be a year of power, a year that heaven comes to earth, a year that God moves in ways we cannot even dream or imagine.  I'm terribly excited, expectant, and patient as I wait to see how God will use me this year, and this small resolution is one step I can take to prepare myself to go when He calls.

                                  (we all need a little encouragement)