Andi's Server Soap Box Vol. 3

To the parents who allow their toddler to turn bread/macaroni/mashed potatoes/crayons/etc... into their own personal, nuclear playground:

Do you know how difficult it is to get mashed potatoes out of CARPET? Of course you don't, you feed your child in the kitchen or dining room which, luckily, has linoleum in it, or wood, or...NOT carpet. Do you know how LONG it takes to rake bread crumbs up from said carpet? A stinking loooooong time. Not only do you allow your child to create world war 3 with his or her food, but you also allow them to color on the table with the crayons we provide (we also provide paper for coloring on), and you allow them to place stickers on the edge of the table that then have to be scraped off with the equivalent of a paint scraper (for reals, though).

On top of this, you don't tip your server NEARLY enough to clean up after your atomic child. Seriously- shame on you! I would bet a lot of money you don't let your house look like that. If you don't allow your child to get cray cray in your own home, why do you allow such misbehavior at a restaurant? It's senseless. And rude, also. And senseless.

The solution? Keep your child in check, or tip your server extra to clean up all that mess.  It genuinely makes servers want to quit their jobs when they see a family come in with a young child that will inevitably make the biggest mess on the planet. Seriously, the Cuban Missile Crisis is less terrifying to a server facing cleaning up after a toddler.

And thank you for your patronage.

This rant is based on past personal experience and/or past experience of other servers in various restaurants. If you think this is about you, you should remember that any resemblance or similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. And you should also probably take a good, long look in the mirror before you go out to eat again. 

Just in case.