Old Testament Nuggets, Vol. 1

 Numbers and Deuteronomy Truths 

I've been in the process of reading the entire bible in 365 days. Let me tell you, it's been somewhat of a trial. When I was in Leviticus, I ignored my reading for almost a month- it was just overwhelming- very dry, very draining. But I finally made it out, and then on through Numbers (which I actually really enjoyed), and now I'm cruising through Deuteronomy, which I also really enjoy, as a matter of fact.

As I'm reading things I've never read before (who chooses to spend time in the ooollllld Old Testament??), I'm learning an incredible amount of truths! Truths that have really come alive for me recently. So I thought I'd share some of the things God has been revealing to me:

1. Numbers 11:4-6
I am SO like the Israelites- give me good, or rest, or peace, or even just ordinary for a short while, and I become restless and start finding things to complain about.

2. Numbers 11:10-15
Moses being incredibly upfront and honest with God. I should learn from this. My prayers can be flowery or too wordy. I shouldn't be afraid to be honest with God. I shouldn't be afraid to tell Him how I really feel- verses 16 and 17 show me that God listens to what I have to say, and answers me, making a way where I thought there was none.

3. Numbers 21:6-9
The Lord punished the sin.
The people repented.
The Lord allowed temporary pain to continue (i.e. the snakes didn't disappear, or stop biting), but...
The Lord took away the permanent consequences (i.e. He made a way for them to live after having been bitten).

4. Numbers 23:12
This has become one of my favorite chapters in the OT. It's really full of truth and encouragement. This verse in particular really spoke to me: "Must I not speak what the Lord has put in my mouth?" When the Lord reveals something to me, do I hide it? Do i ignore it? Or do I speak it with boldness and compassion? It goes hand-in-hand with verse 26, "Did I not tell you I must do whatever the Lord says?" It's not just about the things you say, but about your actions. Your follow-throughs. If we are imitators of God, then we imitate both His promise and His follow-through, as seen in the next truth:

5. Numbers 23:19-20
When God says something, He means it. His promises are always fulfilled. But so are His warnings.

6. Deuteronomy 1:29-31
God carries us around like a father carries his children! What a beautiful thought, particularly for those of us who grew up without a father or even a father figure, or who grew up around a dad who was absent, abusive, or apathetic.

7. Deuteronomy 1:41-42
God asked the Israelites to do something and they refused. When He took away their inheritance (blessing), they freaked out and tried to hurry up and do what He had originally asked them to do. We learn:
a. There can be a time limit for blessings and promises if we refuse to obey God.
b. There are consequences to our disobeying (or even just not obeying) God.
He could have let them try, but He didn't. He knew the disastrous outcome for their behavior and warned them against it. Not because He wanted to say, "I told you so," but because He loved them and wanted to keep them safe, even after their disobedience.

8. Deut. 2:1-23
The Lord gave specific instruction to the Israelites as they went, to protect both them AND the people God had already promised things to (inheritance). He doesn't forget His promises, ever.

9. Deut. 8:5
God not only carries us as a father carries his son (Deut. 1:31), but He also disciplines us as a father does his son. This is necessary, and although it might hurt for the moment, it's important for our growth as His children. If we don't have limits and boundaries, we don't learn what is good and safe and healthy, and what is not. Just as in our relationships to our earthly parents (or children).

10. Deut. 10:12-22
A really powerful passage about the need to love and fear God, and His love for us, not in return, but firstly. He has already done the work. All we have to do is acknowledge it, remember it, and love Him.

11. Deut. 10:14-15
This is my favorite part of the above passage. Everything belongs to God, but He chose us, and loves us. Wow.

12. Deut. 11:16
"Be careful, or..." We must never let our guard down, even in the land of promise.

These are just my own personal musings, and the things I feel the Lord is speaking to my heart as I read through His Word. He might be telling you something different for your own personal walk with Him, or pointing out other passages that are specific to you today. Just listen to Him- He knows best and will walk with you until you get it right. And by that time, we'll be walking next to Him in Eternity, praise the Lord!

Resolution March: What?!?!

I really thought I had this month figured out. I really thought I had a decent handle on things. Really, I did!  I was going to focus this month on eating clean, healthy, and good.  Wherever I went, I would make the healthiest choice possible.  This wasn't going to be a bunch of unrealistic limitations or boundaries, simply a chance to DECIDE to MAKE healthy CHOICES.  See? All within my grasp, even with as much as I adore sugar and carbs.

Then my sickness melted in from February. How do I eat healthy when all I want to do is be in bed?  Then a group of my friends and I helped my mom unload all her possessions from a uhaul into her new apartment, and she bought everyone pizza.  How do you get people to feel comfortable enough to just grab some pizza offered from a woman they just met, in an apartment they've never been to before?  You eat some first.  Then the youth group I work with had a pancake party.  How do you build relationships at a pancake party? You eat the dang pancakes. 

Needless to say............this month has not started well.  I met with my discipleship leader, Natalie, a few days ago, and it was the first chance in several weeks that we'd had to meet, due to her family being sick, and then my own sickness.  It was a really incredible time of discipleship, prayer, and refocusing. The main theme I got from this meeting was that it's very apparent that this month is not meant for food or physical health.  This month is meant for the Lord, and my relationship with Him.

I have been having a drought of sorts in my relationship with the Lord.  I've been struggling to get through Leviticus (in my bible-in-a-year plan) and my prayer life has also been really affected lately. I haven't felt the motivation to be with the Lord, and therefore I stopped actively seeking Him. My bible reading stopped, and my prayer life started drying up.  Storms? Storms I can handle.  Mountains, valleys....all the ups and downs that come with Life.  But drought?? The drying up of your emotions, of your experiences, of your soul, THAT is a struggle for me. THAT is what makes me hole up in a shed and hide somewhere.  THAT is what robs me of my intimacy with the Lord.

And since I have not yet addressed my relationship with the Lord, either in my monthly resolutions, or in my life in general, this month has become a month of the Lord.  They say that March is the best month for cleansing, be it physical, material, or spiritual.  And this is my spiritual cleansing month. I need to get rid of all my idols, anything and everything that takes my focus first before the Lord, and get back to the heart of Us.  Meaning my scripture reading and meditation returns, I actively sit and wait upon the Lord- to speak, to move, to show Himself to me.  If I truly believe in Him, and believe Him, I'll start acting like it.  And that begins today.  One step at a time.  He's just waiting for me to slow down and let Him in.

So bring it on, Lord.  I'm finally ready.  Bring it!

Resolution February: Conclusion

I started out this month REALLY great. I was working out every single day, sometimes 2-3 different workouts a day. My body felt great, my energy was up, I could really see some muscle tone improvement.

Then.......I got sick. I was sick for the last 2 weeks of February, and I didn't work out ONE TIME. I'm still struggling to get my voice, health, and energy back. So I won't be working out til that happens.

I do feel that, even though I didn't finish an entire month of exercise, the month was a success.  I realized how good it felt to really take care of my body, and how much healthier I felt, in general.  As soon as I kick this sickness, I'll hop back on the bandwagon and see if I can't reach my goal weight before May.  Here we go!

Resolution January: Conclusion

I finished the month of January like a champ! 31 days without tv or movies or videos, and it was awesome. I even went several days into February without them. It's already the 15th and I still haven't actually watched a series on television (although I have since caught up on all my faves from last fall on hulu). Last night was the first time I sat down and watched a movie (having hosted a movie night for the girls in my youth group), but even then I couldn't just sit and watch. After about 20 minutes I got up and grabbed my knitting. Ha!

I think it was a really great exercise for me, and really put things into perspective. Even with my ridiculously crazy schedule, I had so much extra time, and so little stress ("I can't go do this, that, or the other, because I'll miss my favorite show!"), that I got tons of things done, not only with relationships, but with my personal life, my spiritual life, and my favorite activities. I listened to 2 full audio books (Sense and Sensibility, and The Scarlet Letter), I studied the Bible every day, I knit a pair of legwarmers and 2 baby hats for a CURE Afghanistan hospital project, I knit a BAG (not including the time I spent measuring, cutting, seaming, and sewing material for INSIDE the bag), started working out more often (and with more energy and pleasure) and was able to go out with people and do a number of fun activities while building those relationships.  It was really good for me.

On top of all those benefits of getting to actually DO things, I also was able to restrain from buying anything for myself for the entire month (with the exception of knitting materials for all those projects). Without being hit in the face with advertising ("this is what your life should look like," "this is how you should dress," "this is how you should act/talk," "this is where you should live," "this is who you should date"), I didn't feel the need to BUY. At all. I don't actually need anything, indeed I have much more than most people in this world, and without being told that I DO, in fact, need things, I abstained from buying anything at all for myself.  It was really refreshing. I could actually feel my life being cleansed of all that junk that I put on myself when I watch tv, or even movies.  Even now, with great movies coming out on dvd (you all remember my ONE vice is that I buy movies for myself....ALL the time), I still can't make myself go out and buy one right off the shelf the day it comes out.  Don't get me wrong, as a theatre lover and patron, I have a great admiration and respect for working actors, directors, techies, etc... but if there are people in this world going without food or clothing or shelter or water, there is NO justification for me to drop $25 on a MOVIE.

All in all, it was a really incredible experience for me. I'm really grateful my first act of sacrifice and self-discipline was exercised in a realm I never thought I could control. Movies are/were my escape, and not having that to dive into really created in me an ability to deal with things that I didn't necessarily want to deal with. I feel like I've really grown as a person, and my priorities have made themselves very clear. I'm excited to see what else this year has to bring!

Resolution January: No TV/Movies

As promised, my 2012 is going to be a year of sacrifice, of learning what self-denial and self-discipline are, all in the name of growth.  I want to be a better woman at the end of this year, more courageous, more disciplined, more creative in the way I spend time, money, and energy.

For January, my resolution is to not watch any tv or movies, including videos online.  Instead, I am filling that time with knitting, projects, cleaning, working out, and building relationships.  Finding things to fill that time that encourage my relationships with other people, with the Lord, and with myself.  Participating in activities without hesitation that I might miss something at home, or thinking "I need alone time" (translation: I want to go sit on my couch and not do anything).

The month started out kind of claustrophobically.  I really felt like I was enclosed in a tiny place with no out.  I know that must sound strange, but when I was in college and living in the dorms, it was sometimes a really lonely place.  Anytime I would be in my room alone, or in the dorm on certain holidays when no one else was around, I would switch my tv on just to have basic human sounds in the background.  A conversation, the sound of movement or traffic (slightly muted, of course), were things that became comforting to me in times of loneliness.  This must have snowballed into my need to constantly have a tv or movie playing.  Looking back on my self-created obsession, I never even sit down and intently look at the screen, I always have something in my hands: knitting, scrapbooking, a book....or I might be cleaning or cooking or doing laundry, and I just have the movie on for sounds effects.

In my 10 days of discipline so far, I am learning that I have a lot of thoughts swimming around in my head...all the time.  In the quiet I'm experiencing, I'm having to deal with these thoughts, call them under my command, and learn to live without "white noise."  Learn to live my life, without distractions.  And, to my credit, I have not faltered once!  I am constantly looking for things to do, I am finding myself constantly saying "yes" to activities or invitations to do things, rather than thinking I need alone time, going home, and missing out on the present.  I can already feel the effects of this positive life change in tons of different areas.  Even in my nighttime routines- without the distraction of television or a movie, my body knows it's tired more readily and concretely, and I fall asleep easier and more quickly, without the colorful (and often disturbing) array of dreams that have plagued me for some time now.

I'm excited to see where this year takes me.  I've heard often in the last several weeks that "this is going to be a year of blessing," and I believe that, deep down in my soul. I know it will be a year of blessing- it already has been.  I also believe that this will be a year of power, a year that heaven comes to earth, a year that God moves in ways we cannot even dream or imagine.  I'm terribly excited, expectant, and patient as I wait to see how God will use me this year, and this small resolution is one step I can take to prepare myself to go when He calls.

                                  (we all need a little encouragement)

Bridal Boot Camp Day 1: Food Is Fuel

My best friend is getting married!!!!!! Bryan proposed to Sarah on Monday, 1/2/12 and she said yes!! It was a truly magical moment, and I was lucky enough not only to be able to witness it, but to have a part in it, as well.  Sarah always said she wanted her friends and family there with her when he proposed, and Bryan was wonderful and gracious enough not only to organize getting us all there, but to let us be part of it.

Having said that..........it is now time for BRIDAL BOOT CAMP.  Neither Sarah nor Bryan want a long engagement (they're shooting for this summer- mere months away), which means the ladies in Sarah's life need to get on the ball, food-and-exercise-wise.  Today is Day 1!  I won't be blogging every day about this, but I will be keeping up with progress, trials, obstacles, failings, and goal-achievements as the months progress.  Sarah has asked that I encourage her daily to keep on her own diet and exercise plan, and to nag as much as I can so she'll be annoyed enough to actually follow through, rather than making excuses (which we both are really terrific at).  I said "no problem" to both the encouragement and the nagging.  Not only will it remind me of my own food and exercise choices (because EVERYTHING is a choice), but it will give us excuse after excuse to talk to each other often.  And not that we need excuses, but we both struggle with getting busy in our daily lives and not talking for days or weeks at a time, even when she physically lived 5 minutes away.  So this will be a good thing.

Today, as the first day, I started thinking about how I could help myself, and therefore Sarah, through this process.  I'm really great at starting projects, and then slowly dropping them instead of seeing them to completion.  I looked back over my previous attempts at changing my lifestyle, and I noticed a pattern with every attempt.  I, like all women who decide to change their eating and exercising habits, want to see change immediately.  I either don't see change and quit, or see some changes happening and start making excuses to slack off ("Well, I've lost ____ lbs, so I think I can probably handle a few cookes..."), and it just ends badly.  And at this point in life, I not only gain the weight I lost BACK, but I gain plus some.  NOT OKAY.

So I figured this time, getting at the root of the problem, I just might be able to make a permanent change.  I need to stop seeing food as a reward, and start seeing it as what it is: FUEL.  I shouldn't say, "I made it all day long without cheating, so now I'm going to have one ______".  I need to just say,"I made it through today making healthy choices, my body feels great, and that's all the reward I need!"  And mean it.

I think I'll keep "Food is fuel" as my mantra for awhile, maybe the first couple weeks, until I really get that mindset firmly rooted.  It's going to take a lot of self-discipline and willpower to change poor habits I have created slowly over my entire life (especially the latter years), but I really think I can do this.  I really think Sarah can do this.  I KNOW we can do it together.  It really helps that their engagement won't be extended.  It will help a great deal more when they set their date, knowing specifically when our deadline is.

As for now, I'm really excited to go through this journey with Sarah- to watch her challenge herself mentally and physically, to watch her grow into her role as a fiance and bride, to watch as all her dreams come true.  I know that they will.

What I Learned In DC

I recently spent a few days in Washington DC to herald in my best friend Sarah's brand new engagement, under the ruse of helping her move.  While there we got to travel the city, see the sites, and spend some really wonderful bestie time together- all capped by watching Bryan propose to her.  It was magical.

It was also a long, exhausting, crazy trip.  The normally 9 hour drive there was extended by picking up her youngest sister (to help with the proposal), stopping for bathroom breaks for 3 women, and stopping at kmart to pick up supplies for the proposal (it was going to be an EVENT).  The normally 9 hour drive back home was even worse, with the first snow of the year deciding to fall on the day we left.  Driving went from a breezy 70 mph to a slow and torturous 24 mph for the better part of 2 hours, with visibility dropping to just in front of the nose of the car.  It was awful.  But also TOTALLY WORTH IT!

During my time in DC, it was made very clear to me that I have a lot to learn about myself...and life.

THINGS I LEARNED IN DC:

~I'm the only person on the planet who does not dress completely in black apparel...from head to foot.
~I dehydrate easily.
~I live to make excuses for eating terribly while on the road.
~I love road trips. Even when I hate them. I love them.
~Road trips make me feel like an adult.
~Lateral Thinking games quickly and easily became my new obsession.
~Nothing is better than sitting at a coffee shop, drinking a latte, talking and laughing with your best friend.
~West Virginia is not as bad a state as I seem to remember.
~Always pack for unexpected weather, particularly the cold kind.
~12* is freaking cold.
~Fuzzy boots do not protect against snow or rain or whatever else happens to be on the ground.
~As cute as those new knee-length boots are, the blisters they create after walking for 6 hours are not.
~I absolutely need to live in a big city.
~My best friend is going to be the most beautiful bride in the history of brides. Ever.
~Ice cream is never a good idea on a cold day.
~Junk food tastes great while you're eating it...but you're going to feel like trash the second it hits your stomach.  Particularly if you eat a lot of it.
~Water runs through your system much faster than anything else you might drink. Unless you're willing to make 9 stops on the way home (yep), regulate how much water you consume.
~I can drive 9 hours by myself. I've done it before. It is infinitely easier to drive with someone else in the car with you.
~Bring a pillow with you. Bring a pillow with you. Bring a pillow with you.
~I should always pack my own breakfast materials on trips, because no one ever eats breakfast when they have guests.
~I'm not 15 anymore and I very clearly cannot stay awake all night long and then attempt to function the next day.
~My lips will stay chapped no matter how often or how much I slather chap stick on them.
~I should never walk around with cash on me. The second someone asks me for change, I can't lie. And I end up giving away everything on me.
~Always have tons of money in your bank account. You will inevitably spend far more than you plan to.
~Parking is freaking expensive.
~I could easily ride the metro to work every day. Even if it takes up an hour or two of my day.  Reading time, anyone??
~Apparently everyone on the planet carries a rolling suitcase with them...except me.
~I'm not rich enough to visit big cities.
~Watching my best friend be proposed to was the single most exciting, beautiful, and wonderful thing I've ever seen.  Getting to be a part of it was even more incredible.
~I am a lucky, lucky, blessed person.

Currently Doing: Blog 1 of 3 for today. Lots of updates to write about!