Resolution January: No TV/Movies

As promised, my 2012 is going to be a year of sacrifice, of learning what self-denial and self-discipline are, all in the name of growth.  I want to be a better woman at the end of this year, more courageous, more disciplined, more creative in the way I spend time, money, and energy.

For January, my resolution is to not watch any tv or movies, including videos online.  Instead, I am filling that time with knitting, projects, cleaning, working out, and building relationships.  Finding things to fill that time that encourage my relationships with other people, with the Lord, and with myself.  Participating in activities without hesitation that I might miss something at home, or thinking "I need alone time" (translation: I want to go sit on my couch and not do anything).

The month started out kind of claustrophobically.  I really felt like I was enclosed in a tiny place with no out.  I know that must sound strange, but when I was in college and living in the dorms, it was sometimes a really lonely place.  Anytime I would be in my room alone, or in the dorm on certain holidays when no one else was around, I would switch my tv on just to have basic human sounds in the background.  A conversation, the sound of movement or traffic (slightly muted, of course), were things that became comforting to me in times of loneliness.  This must have snowballed into my need to constantly have a tv or movie playing.  Looking back on my self-created obsession, I never even sit down and intently look at the screen, I always have something in my hands: knitting, scrapbooking, a book....or I might be cleaning or cooking or doing laundry, and I just have the movie on for sounds effects.

In my 10 days of discipline so far, I am learning that I have a lot of thoughts swimming around in my head...all the time.  In the quiet I'm experiencing, I'm having to deal with these thoughts, call them under my command, and learn to live without "white noise."  Learn to live my life, without distractions.  And, to my credit, I have not faltered once!  I am constantly looking for things to do, I am finding myself constantly saying "yes" to activities or invitations to do things, rather than thinking I need alone time, going home, and missing out on the present.  I can already feel the effects of this positive life change in tons of different areas.  Even in my nighttime routines- without the distraction of television or a movie, my body knows it's tired more readily and concretely, and I fall asleep easier and more quickly, without the colorful (and often disturbing) array of dreams that have plagued me for some time now.

I'm excited to see where this year takes me.  I've heard often in the last several weeks that "this is going to be a year of blessing," and I believe that, deep down in my soul. I know it will be a year of blessing- it already has been.  I also believe that this will be a year of power, a year that heaven comes to earth, a year that God moves in ways we cannot even dream or imagine.  I'm terribly excited, expectant, and patient as I wait to see how God will use me this year, and this small resolution is one step I can take to prepare myself to go when He calls.

                                  (we all need a little encouragement)

Bridal Boot Camp Day 1: Food Is Fuel

My best friend is getting married!!!!!! Bryan proposed to Sarah on Monday, 1/2/12 and she said yes!! It was a truly magical moment, and I was lucky enough not only to be able to witness it, but to have a part in it, as well.  Sarah always said she wanted her friends and family there with her when he proposed, and Bryan was wonderful and gracious enough not only to organize getting us all there, but to let us be part of it.

Having said that..........it is now time for BRIDAL BOOT CAMP.  Neither Sarah nor Bryan want a long engagement (they're shooting for this summer- mere months away), which means the ladies in Sarah's life need to get on the ball, food-and-exercise-wise.  Today is Day 1!  I won't be blogging every day about this, but I will be keeping up with progress, trials, obstacles, failings, and goal-achievements as the months progress.  Sarah has asked that I encourage her daily to keep on her own diet and exercise plan, and to nag as much as I can so she'll be annoyed enough to actually follow through, rather than making excuses (which we both are really terrific at).  I said "no problem" to both the encouragement and the nagging.  Not only will it remind me of my own food and exercise choices (because EVERYTHING is a choice), but it will give us excuse after excuse to talk to each other often.  And not that we need excuses, but we both struggle with getting busy in our daily lives and not talking for days or weeks at a time, even when she physically lived 5 minutes away.  So this will be a good thing.

Today, as the first day, I started thinking about how I could help myself, and therefore Sarah, through this process.  I'm really great at starting projects, and then slowly dropping them instead of seeing them to completion.  I looked back over my previous attempts at changing my lifestyle, and I noticed a pattern with every attempt.  I, like all women who decide to change their eating and exercising habits, want to see change immediately.  I either don't see change and quit, or see some changes happening and start making excuses to slack off ("Well, I've lost ____ lbs, so I think I can probably handle a few cookes..."), and it just ends badly.  And at this point in life, I not only gain the weight I lost BACK, but I gain plus some.  NOT OKAY.

So I figured this time, getting at the root of the problem, I just might be able to make a permanent change.  I need to stop seeing food as a reward, and start seeing it as what it is: FUEL.  I shouldn't say, "I made it all day long without cheating, so now I'm going to have one ______".  I need to just say,"I made it through today making healthy choices, my body feels great, and that's all the reward I need!"  And mean it.

I think I'll keep "Food is fuel" as my mantra for awhile, maybe the first couple weeks, until I really get that mindset firmly rooted.  It's going to take a lot of self-discipline and willpower to change poor habits I have created slowly over my entire life (especially the latter years), but I really think I can do this.  I really think Sarah can do this.  I KNOW we can do it together.  It really helps that their engagement won't be extended.  It will help a great deal more when they set their date, knowing specifically when our deadline is.

As for now, I'm really excited to go through this journey with Sarah- to watch her challenge herself mentally and physically, to watch her grow into her role as a fiance and bride, to watch as all her dreams come true.  I know that they will.

What I Learned In DC

I recently spent a few days in Washington DC to herald in my best friend Sarah's brand new engagement, under the ruse of helping her move.  While there we got to travel the city, see the sites, and spend some really wonderful bestie time together- all capped by watching Bryan propose to her.  It was magical.

It was also a long, exhausting, crazy trip.  The normally 9 hour drive there was extended by picking up her youngest sister (to help with the proposal), stopping for bathroom breaks for 3 women, and stopping at kmart to pick up supplies for the proposal (it was going to be an EVENT).  The normally 9 hour drive back home was even worse, with the first snow of the year deciding to fall on the day we left.  Driving went from a breezy 70 mph to a slow and torturous 24 mph for the better part of 2 hours, with visibility dropping to just in front of the nose of the car.  It was awful.  But also TOTALLY WORTH IT!

During my time in DC, it was made very clear to me that I have a lot to learn about myself...and life.

THINGS I LEARNED IN DC:

~I'm the only person on the planet who does not dress completely in black apparel...from head to foot.
~I dehydrate easily.
~I live to make excuses for eating terribly while on the road.
~I love road trips. Even when I hate them. I love them.
~Road trips make me feel like an adult.
~Lateral Thinking games quickly and easily became my new obsession.
~Nothing is better than sitting at a coffee shop, drinking a latte, talking and laughing with your best friend.
~West Virginia is not as bad a state as I seem to remember.
~Always pack for unexpected weather, particularly the cold kind.
~12* is freaking cold.
~Fuzzy boots do not protect against snow or rain or whatever else happens to be on the ground.
~As cute as those new knee-length boots are, the blisters they create after walking for 6 hours are not.
~I absolutely need to live in a big city.
~My best friend is going to be the most beautiful bride in the history of brides. Ever.
~Ice cream is never a good idea on a cold day.
~Junk food tastes great while you're eating it...but you're going to feel like trash the second it hits your stomach.  Particularly if you eat a lot of it.
~Water runs through your system much faster than anything else you might drink. Unless you're willing to make 9 stops on the way home (yep), regulate how much water you consume.
~I can drive 9 hours by myself. I've done it before. It is infinitely easier to drive with someone else in the car with you.
~Bring a pillow with you. Bring a pillow with you. Bring a pillow with you.
~I should always pack my own breakfast materials on trips, because no one ever eats breakfast when they have guests.
~I'm not 15 anymore and I very clearly cannot stay awake all night long and then attempt to function the next day.
~My lips will stay chapped no matter how often or how much I slather chap stick on them.
~I should never walk around with cash on me. The second someone asks me for change, I can't lie. And I end up giving away everything on me.
~Always have tons of money in your bank account. You will inevitably spend far more than you plan to.
~Parking is freaking expensive.
~I could easily ride the metro to work every day. Even if it takes up an hour or two of my day.  Reading time, anyone??
~Apparently everyone on the planet carries a rolling suitcase with them...except me.
~I'm not rich enough to visit big cities.
~Watching my best friend be proposed to was the single most exciting, beautiful, and wonderful thing I've ever seen.  Getting to be a part of it was even more incredible.
~I am a lucky, lucky, blessed person.

Currently Doing: Blog 1 of 3 for today. Lots of updates to write about!