A. C.A.S.T.L.E.

 

My precious sisters

Tonight was our last small group meeting of the semester, before everyone graduates or leaves for the summer.  It was also my last meeting as a small group leader. I will still be working with our high school ministry, 707, and leading a small group there, but this will be the last I lead a small group of adults for Vineyard, at least for the forseeable future. My time and attention needs to be spent with my high school students.  So, needless to say, tonight was really bittersweet for me. But much more sweet than bitter. I am so grateful, and so blessed, that God thought enough of me to allow me to be part of His plan.

The girls I have been blessed to teach and lead this semester have been wonderful, really teaching me more than I taught them.  The things they shared were insightful, genuine, and impactful, not only to the group as a whole, but to me. I learned so much about what it meant to bring a vulnerable, teachable spirit to the Lord and to our community. I learned what it meant to really look someone in the eye, and listen to what she is saying.  I learned what it meant to truly intercede for someone in prayer, and to watch God work in their lives.

 

We're clearly cooler than you

Tonight as we wrapped up our discussion, we moved into a time of encouragement.  Our typical night ends with words of affirmation, wisdom, and encouragement for each other, but tonight we wanted to end with words of affirmation to our Lord. We held hands and prayed "breath prayers". We went around the circle several times, but praying only one sentence at a time, or a prayer on one breath. It was one of the most incredible moments I've experienced in prayer. I wish I could remember everything that was said, or that I had the courage to write it all down, because it was genuinely life-changing.

"Thank You, God, for loving me for who I am but not wanting me to stay there." 

"Thank You, God, for letting me be Your little girl." 

"Thank You, Jesus, for letting me share this semester with girls 

who lift me up, teach me, and support me." 

"Thank You, Father, for pulling me out of my darkness, and into Your wonderful light." 

"Thank You for coming to rescue me, even when I run away."

"Help us seek You and only You."

"We love You with everything in us- help us show the world who You are."  

And on and on it went.  More powerful and more emotional and more honest the further along we got. It was really, really special.

And now I have all these wonderful memories and images to carry with me as I part from these ladies, maybe for a summer, maybe for a year, maybe for a lifetime. But I am comforted knowing that we are connected by a Holy Spirit which is more powerful than being physically next to each other. And one day, no matter what, we'll all meet again, standing right in front of Jesus, and there will be a party unlike anything we can imagine!

 

Princesses in A. C.A.S.T.L.E., 

living with purpose and intention today,

as we hope for the future 

Andi

Caroline

Amber

Sydney

Tierah

Lydia

Emily

  I thank my God every time I remember you. 

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 

because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now,  

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you 

will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. 

Phil. 1:3-6

Old Testament Nuggets, Vol. 2

I've been flying through the OT lately! Reading stories I've never read, re-reading old favorites- it's been a tremendous journey!  I figured I should at least offer some new nuggets of truth the Lord has been revealing to me through His old covenant. (There will be some New Testament Nuggets, as well, so forgive the slightly inaccurate heading). Welp, here goes!

1. Deut. 15:18
Don't be upset about someone leaving, but be joyful and give thanks for the time that you did have with them.

2. Joshua 3:5
What a beautiful thought: "Joshua told the people, 'Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.' " A preview of Easter, as well?

3. Judges 6:17-40
Gideon asked the Lord for signs that it was really Him speaking- and God answered! God gave Gideon exactly the signs he was asking for.

4. Judges 8:2-3
Gideon's humble and selfless response caught the Israelites unaware, shocked them, and melted their resentment toward him. He disarmed them with the heart of a servant.

5. Judges 8:7
But he wasn't a pushover. Humble, but strong.

6. Ruth 3:10-11
Ruth showed romantic restraint. Wow! For those of you without a Bible at your hands in this present moment, and for fear that you will miss this incredible truth, I'm going to go ahead and give you the scripture:

10 "The LORD bless you, my daughter," he replied. 
"This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: 
You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. 
  11 And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. 
All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.

 She showed restraint in her single life, with her single heart, and the Lord blessed and provided for her.  This is not to say that the Lord will provide a husband for us all, He may provide something else instead. And that has to be okay. But we must show restraint in our lives. And when we do, as in verse 11, people will know the we are women of our words, women of pure motivation, and women of "noble character." And that's amazing, and worth it!

7. 1 Samuel 8:18

Be careful what you wish for...    

8. 1 Samuel 9:16

God didn't just volunteer to save Israel from the Philistines. They had to first acknowledge their need for Him, and then actively ask for His intercession. He answered because they asked.

**9. 1 Samuel 9:24 

I want to camp here for just a minute, because in all my scripture reading (for today specifically), this might be my favorite moment.

"Here is what has been kept for you. Eat, because it was set aside for you
 for this occasion, from the time I said, 'I have invited guests.'"

What a beautiful idea! I would love to have this on a plaque for my future dining room, as a reminder to me to make people feel more comfortable and welcome in my home and at my table, and a reminder to my guests that they are special and important. Especially when I have lots of kids (again- biological, adopted, and fostered). But even before then, as I host or foster my students for a meal or coffee or just to chat... I need to be mindful of the things I am doing, not doing, or could do to make people feel welcome and special. How lovely this thought would make someone feel- "I have prepared a place for you. This time/meal/energy is meant for you. I love it.

10. Luke 1:28-30

Mary didn't have to do anything or be anyone. She just was who she was, and God blessed her with favor and promise.  I should be more willing to be myself, rather than compare myself to or attempt to emulate others. He made me to be me, and when I start owning that, He'll open the floodgates of heaven's blessings.

11. Luke 1:74

God enables us to serve Him without fear. Wow.

12. Luke 3:11
Give. Period. This might be my excuse to sell or give away everything I own! I've been looking for a reason (and perhaps also a little more courage) to do this. Just give, and then go.

13. Luke 3:13

Don't take any kind of advantage of people, no matter who they are.

14. Luke 7:1-10

I can't even imagine what it would be like to amaze Jesus with my faith. My two favorite verses here are 9 and 13.

15. Luke 7:50

No words are even necessary here. The scripture simply says everything it needs to:

⁵⁰ Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”   

16. Luke 8:15

"By persevering, produce a crop." We don't grow, mature, or produce fruit without being tested and without getting through the trial.

17. Luke 14:6

 What a beautiful verse. Not just for when God calls us out, but for anytime we're focused on the presence of God, period.

18. Luke 14:8-11

I must also look for ways (and then follow through) to exalt and honor people. Sometimes we're not the guest- sometimes we're the host, and we are meant to make people feel necessary. 

19. Luke 14:28

This is also for when I adopt and foster. <3

20. Luke 14:28

I should definitely start planning my projects, rather than just jumping straight into them without thinking, and praying that God will provide. Wisdom itself is a Godly attribute!

Wow. That was a lot of information. I hope you enjoyed some of the little bites of truth and wisdom the Lord has been revealing to me, and I pray He is continuously revealing to you your own little bites of truth.

Today Was...

Just... wow.

I started the day with a seriously low tire on my car. Instead of fixing it, I ignored it in order to get to work on time. Did I remember to fix it after work? Nope. Completely forgot. And as I'm sitting on my couch, staring out the front door in the general direction of my car, I am currently remembering I need to get that fixed. Enter Bucket List Item #87.

While I'm cleaning the dining room before we open, as I was trying to listen to my youversion Bible Plan scriptures for the day, I take my phone out of my pocket and promptly DROP IT. This makes screen break #2. Yech.

 

I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart.

I then proceed to walk into the alley at work and basically throw a glass on the floor. Okay, I didn't actually throw the glass on the floor, I just dropped it really, really hard. On the floor. Accidentally.

 

I mean, we didn't really need this one, right?

I then have all of THREE tables before I am cut from work. So I make TEN CENTS at work and then come home to blog before my Monday night yoga class.

 

This is all I needed for rent, right? Wait a minute- 

this isn't even AMERICAN change!

Thinking back on the last five hours of my life....and then relating that to the last 25 years of my life... I think it's been a really great day! I am getting to the point in my life when things like this don't affect me, because they don't matter.  A broken glass is just that- a broken glass.  And working in a restaurant- there are literally 5 billion other glasses just waiting for their turn to replace that one. A broken phone....sucks...but it's just a broken phone. I know I'll get it fixed or replaced...so no big deal. My flat tire will be aired up again, and my lack of monies will end up just fine, because God has my back and He's proven Himself faithful again and again and again.

Why was this such an important day for me to experience? Because I needed to know that at the end of the day, all this stuff, all the crazy things that happen, all the negative drama that goes down....it's just stuff.  People's lives are at stake in the bigger picture.  Do I spend my time stressed about money and materials, or do I spend my time focused on loving people, speaking words of life and healing, and pointing them to Jesus? That's the big question at the end of the day. And I need to take that far more seriously than I do.  I'm so grateful that all these things happened this morning- being aware that there IS a bigger picture out there is the most important step toward actually seeing it.  And I want to see the bigger picture, not just my own little snapshot of time.

 

NOT me today!

'The Lucky One' Revelations

Some of my girl friends and I just went to see 'The Lucky One,' the story of a Marine who finds a picture, and it saves his life.  Starring Zac Efron, it was already sure to be a romance fest, but little did I know what I was getting myself into...and how the Lord would use a Hollywood love flick to reveal some really important truths to me.

Romance movies, even the comedic kind, are really like porn for girls.  Really, they are.  They create this semi- to completely- unrealistic scenario of an unbelievably good-looking, kind-hearted, and gentle man, who somehow needs saving and is totally willing to change...for the right girl. Enter a beautiful, self-assured, unassuming, girl-next-door-type who also needs a little bit of saving, and a giant dose of vulnerability only accessible through this man's constant and consistent pursuing of her. Add to that some sort of high-drama accident/occurrence/memory, and you have every woman's fantasy- a handsome, gifted, un-needy man coming to rescue you from life's tragedies, no matter what you say or do, set to the background music of 'let's find ourselves.'  That's a lot to handle.  Especially when you're with a boy.  (Let me add a tiny disclaimer for just a moment: the following statements are not meant to be forced onto anyone- these are simply truths that MY heart needs to follow.)

I absolutely don't need to go see movies like this on a date, EVER. Until, that is, I am married and sitting next to my husband. I'm really balancing precariously on the edge of not going to see these movies at all- my single heart needs more protection than I am currently offering it, and going to see movies that make me wistful and desirous of a man with his arms around me, holding me while I cry is not very healthy.  So I believe this is a new boundary for me.  I won't be going on dates to see romantic movies. Period. The end.  Being a woman, and an emotional one at that, I am far too affected emotionally (and hormonally) to be fully aware and in control of my actions.  Seeing a romantic movie is somewhat akin to being drunk, I'm sure... you can only be partly held responsible for your actions- because something is DIRECTLY affecting your mood and, in this case, your hormones.

Something else the Lord impressed upon me during the watching of this movie is that I AM WORTH IT.  No more chasing boys I'm attracted to, or spending time daydreaming about what things could be like, if... Oh, no. I'm not going to waste any more of my precious time thinking about a boy who isn't thinking about me, or pursuing me, or chasing down my dreams. I have far too many important things that I need to be focusing on, rather than on some imaginary what if.  This ends today.  My husband is out there somewhere, and I will not waste my time daydreaming or fantasizing about a man who ISN'T HIM.

Along with that, I have finally started to grasp my own self-worth. Genuinely. I am worth someone putting in effort for. I don't have to say 'yes' to any boy who dregs up the courage to ask me out. I can wait for someone I esteem, for someone I am attracted to, or interested in. Why? Because he's out there.  And perhaps he is waiting on me, too. Either way, and most especially if he's not out there at all (which is also okay), it doesn't matter.  Because I am worth it. I'm pretty, I'm funny, I'm intelligent, I'm talented, and what little common sense I have is made up for with enthusiasm and a desire to learn from my mistakes. I trust my Jesus with everything in me, and am running after Him, and that in itself is enough to prove that I am worth it. And there's nothing wrong with esteeming or encouraging yourself every now and then. People tell you to speak truth and life about yourself...and it is necessary.

Lastly, and most importantly....I'm going to be just fine. I am.  It's gonna be okay. Truly.  How do I know? Because I serve a God who has already won the battle. Already. It's already fine.  All I have to do when I get knocked down, is keep getting back up. Knocked down by hurts, by setbacks, by loneliness...whatever. Just keep getting back up. Because at the end of the day, God has already won this fight and He's in my corner.  And that's it.  I'm going to be fine.  It's going to be all right.  Praise the Lord.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  -Jeremiah 29:11

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  -Romans 8:28

Missions?

As I continue to grow closer to my sweet Savior, as I continue to grow in maturity and confidence, as I continue to grow closer to letting go of all the baggage that has been weighing me down for years and years....I can't help but feel as though my time in Richmond is almost over.

I'm 27 years old, and incredibly single. I have so much free time and energy to give to the Lord and the ministry He is calling me to. I can't stop feeling like a college student, because this is the town I moved to for college and 9 years later I'm still here. Albeit, doing work that God has for me...which also includes spending 90% of my free time with high school and college students.

Maybe that's unfair...but maybe there is a bit of truth in the scripture where Jesus says "no prophet is accepted in his own town." (Luke 4:24). Perhaps that's also taken a bit out of context, as Jesus was speaking of the place where He grew up- a place people couldn't stop thinking of Him as a little boy, under His parents' authority.  But what if there's a flip side to that? What if it's not only in what other people think- what if there is power in what you think of yourself? I still feel like a college kid, because I still live in a college town. In MY college's town. And I work as a waitress in a restaurant. That's not even a Big Girl Job.

I've known for years and years that God is calling me to full-time ministry. Praise Him, I've accepted that calling. Praise Him, He has opened door after door after door for me to do His work.  But I still feel I'm not fulling realizing His calling, that perhaps I'm not taking responsibility for running full-out after Him. I still feel that I'm meant to live greater than this.

I want to go into youth ministry, with an emphasis on girls' ministry. That's my heart. I love high school students.  But I also want to do mission work. And how can I encourage my students to go overseas when I never had the courage or the motivation to seek that for myself? Perhaps God is calling me to overseas missions for awhile? Or, if not a calling, He is testing me to see how far I will go for Him...

I grew up under the mindset that if God did not specifically call you to a place, you didn't go. But what about all those stories in scripture where people said, "Here I am, God! Send me!" What about all those willing hearts and desirous souls that just wanted to do things for the Lord? That's me! I don't have a specific place or people group in mind or heart, but I have a desire to go and be of use to the Lord, whenever and wherever that might be. I want to go to third world countries, and love on people. Be reminded of just how much junk I really do own. Show people that they are important and necessary and special. Please, before you think anything, know that I understand I have that ability any- and everywhere I go. I do get that. But I also have a desire TO GO. I'm not this single for no reason. I have the opportunity to GO for the Lord right now that I may never have again, and I need to take advantage of the freedom He allows for me today.

Having said that, I have begun the process of applying for short-term international missions trips. I am planning to, prayerfully, knock on every door within my reach and whichever one opens, after much prayer and supplication, I will walk boldly through it.

These are the organizations I have already applied for/am in the process of applying for:
Team, INC
Christ in the City, International
World Race

I have sent inquiries and applications out for several different needs in several different areas of the world. I'm waiting patiently and eagerly for the Lord to reveal to me where I am going. I know I am going. I'm just waiting on the "where."

If you would join me in prayer for these things, I would be very grateful. I am in prayer for you, too, even if we have yet to meet....knowing that God has great things in store for YOU, as well.  I pray He lays burdens on your heart for His children, and that those burdens lead you to pursue His heart and His will passionately, for the glory and increase of His Kingdom. This is a year of blessing and power, and He's asking us to prepare. May we be ready, willing, and enthusiastic when He calls us to GO.

Future Home Necessities...kinda

Most girls grow up dreaming of and planning for their wedding.  Not this girl! I really didn't.  It's a nice thought, now that I'm of a marry-able age, but it's still not something that overwhelms my daydreaming time. What does fill my daydreaming, you ask? My future home!

I spent a lot of my childhood moving around, living with my grandmother, living in dorms, living in college-age apartment complexes (i.e. disgusting, dirty, ill-maintained party centrals). When I think of my future, I dream of my husband and our kids, biological, adopted, and foster. I'd like to leave a legacy of love on this planet, and I want to do that through taking care of my children, and the neighborhood children who need a meal (it happened where we lived growing up), and my kids' friends...and just everyone I can. Wanting to continue in full-time ministry to high school students. I want to live in a home big enough to welcome them in, and have meals and game nights and movie nights and cookouts. All kinds of dreams.  But as I dream these things, a physical idea forms as well.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and we just started listing off things we'd like included in our future homes.  I thought I'd write mine down. In case God sees fit to bless me with them, I can remember to thank Him for answered prayer!

(Bear in mind these are not needs, simply wants, and that my calling from the Lord supersedes any and all desires I might have for a house. For instance, if the Lord calls me to overseas missions? Bye, house! See ya later!  Ministry comes first).

The Perfect House:
*Two story
*Brick
*Back deck, wrapping around much of the back of the house, preferably overlooking lots of greenery.
*Grill for the back deck
*Table and chairs for the back deck
*Adirondack furniture for the back deck
*Hammock for the back deck (double- or triple-wide, so Hubby can sit with me)
*Front porch with lots of seating, some tables, and tons of candles
*Outdoor ceiling fans over the front porch
*Japanese tea lanterns hanging from ceiling over porch
*Trees all over the stinking place
*Hardwood flooring everywhere, except the bedrooms, where there should be plush carpeting
*A tall, large island in the kitchen where my kids can do their homework while I cook them dinner
*A large dining table where everyone can sit together
*Vaulted ceilings in the living room, with an overlook into the living room from the second floor
*Huge windows everywhere, and at least one window bench (a cushy one) where you can sit to read
*Color on all the walls (really, anything but white....or tan...or any form of either)
*Bunk beds in one room for my kids to share <3
*A fireplace
*A fenced in back-yard (black wood, not chain-link), for dogs and kids to play safely in.
*No fence in the front yard- be welcomed!
*A garage
*If I'm reeeallly dreaming: a studio room to do yoga, dance, and martial arts in- safe, smooth wooden floors (heated), floor-to-ceiling mirrors, and lots of open space

                                                 (hey, a girl can dream, right?)




More to come later, if only to daydream!