Some of my girl friends and I just went to see 'The Lucky One,' the story of a Marine who finds a picture, and it saves his life. Starring Zac Efron, it was already sure to be a romance fest, but little did I know what I was getting myself into...and how the Lord would use a Hollywood love flick to reveal some really important truths to me.
Romance movies, even the comedic kind, are really like porn for girls. Really, they are. They create this semi- to completely- unrealistic scenario of an unbelievably good-looking, kind-hearted, and gentle man, who somehow needs saving and is totally willing to change...for the right girl. Enter a beautiful, self-assured, unassuming, girl-next-door-type who also needs a little bit of saving, and a giant dose of vulnerability only accessible through this man's constant and consistent pursuing of her. Add to that some sort of high-drama accident/occurrence/memory, and you have every woman's fantasy- a handsome, gifted, un-needy man coming to rescue you from life's tragedies, no matter what you say or do, set to the background music of 'let's find ourselves.' That's a lot to handle. Especially when you're with a boy. (Let me add a tiny disclaimer for just a moment: the following statements are not meant to be forced onto anyone- these are simply truths that MY heart needs to follow.)
I absolutely don't need to go see movies like this on a date, EVER. Until, that is, I am married and sitting next to my husband. I'm really balancing precariously on the edge of not going to see these movies at all- my single heart needs more protection than I am currently offering it, and going to see movies that make me wistful and desirous of a man with his arms around me, holding me while I cry is not very healthy. So I believe this is a new boundary for me. I won't be going on dates to see romantic movies. Period. The end. Being a woman, and an emotional one at that, I am far too affected emotionally (and hormonally) to be fully aware and in control of my actions. Seeing a romantic movie is somewhat akin to being drunk, I'm sure... you can only be partly held responsible for your actions- because something is DIRECTLY affecting your mood and, in this case, your hormones.
Something else the Lord impressed upon me during the watching of this movie is that I AM WORTH IT. No more chasing boys I'm attracted to, or spending time daydreaming about what things could be like, if... Oh, no. I'm not going to waste any more of my precious time thinking about a boy who isn't thinking about me, or pursuing me, or chasing down my dreams. I have far too many important things that I need to be focusing on, rather than on some imaginary what if. This ends today. My husband is out there somewhere, and I will not waste my time daydreaming or fantasizing about a man who ISN'T HIM.
Along with that, I have finally started to grasp my own self-worth. Genuinely. I am worth someone putting in effort for. I don't have to say 'yes' to any boy who dregs up the courage to ask me out. I can wait for someone I esteem, for someone I am attracted to, or interested in. Why? Because he's out there. And perhaps he is waiting on me, too. Either way, and most especially if he's not out there at all (which is also okay), it doesn't matter. Because I am worth it. I'm pretty, I'm funny, I'm intelligent, I'm talented, and what little common sense I have is made up for with enthusiasm and a desire to learn from my mistakes. I trust my Jesus with everything in me, and am running after Him, and that in itself is enough to prove that I am worth it. And there's nothing wrong with esteeming or encouraging yourself every now and then. People tell you to speak truth and life about yourself...and it is necessary.
Lastly, and most importantly....I'm going to be just fine. I am. It's gonna be okay. Truly. How do I know? Because I serve a God who has already won the battle. Already. It's already fine. All I have to do when I get knocked down, is keep getting back up. Knocked down by hurts, by setbacks, by loneliness...whatever. Just keep getting back up. Because at the end of the day, God has already won this fight and He's in my corner. And that's it. I'm going to be fine. It's going to be all right. Praise the Lord.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28
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